Jimmy Goes For the Manage
June/14/2009 09:56 AM Filed in: Random
All of the parties in the following stories chose to remain anonymous, of course, so I’ve changed the names to protect the guilty.
We were in Vegas staying at the Venetian about a month ago. After going out the night before, I was the first one up in the morning the next day. It was about 11am and I knew that it would take a while to rally the troops. So I got fully dressed in my pool garb, grabbed my Ipod Dock (Bose. Very loud.) and went room to room, blasting Techno until everyone was up and ready.
We made it down to the pool at about 1, finally, and started gettin it crackin. We didn’t head into TAO Beach right away. We like to get our swerve on at the regular pool first, using the Ipod speakers to have our own party.
Once we were done doin our thing, we went into TAO Beach to take it to the next level. I’m not sure if you’ve ever been to TAO Beach, but I can tell you it’s small, loud, and ridiculous. When we entered, I immediately lost one of my boys. You would think it would be tough to lose somebody at a pool the size of a Texaco, but I couldn’t find him.
The thing about this boy of mine, I’ll call him “Jimmy,” is that he almost exclusively dates Asian women. It’s just his thing. We all know this and that’s why he and I have never clashed on the female front. We have very different tastes.
Anyways, after about an hours, Jimmy comes splashing into the pool with two women who fit his target demographic. He’s clearly all over one as he has her up against the wall of the pool, grinding to the sweet tunes pumping over all the patrons that afternoon.
I was happy for Jimmy, because he is just now gettin his college mojo back that he let slip away over the last year. So when I saw him with his tongue now down the girl’s throat. It was damn near magical. Many photos were taken that afternoon and I would like to say that half of them were borderline Cinemax: After Dark.
After the party was over, I headed back to my room with my roommate “Chris.” I was hella tired from a whole day of partying and needed a nap. Chris left the room and I got in bed. It was then that I started getting BBM’s from Jimmy.
“Man why is everybody actin gay?”
“#$*% these chicks aint dimes, but come on punanny punanny.”
I interrupted him.
“What are you talkin bout Jim? I have no clue,” I asked.
“It’s official, I’m off ‘Randy,’ and ‘Gary.’ All I need is a F#$%@$ wingman and they’re actin like they don’t like punanny,” he said.
Right then, Chris walked into the room laughing. I asked him if he was laughing at Jimmy’s situation and he said that he was. See, I know the Chris would handle business in that situation so I was actually more wondering why he didn’t lock and load into WIngman mode.
“Hold up Chris,” I interrupted his laughter, “WTF is goin on over in Jimmy’s room?”
Chris is a very technical talker. He’s probably as Spock-like as a man can be.
“Basically the situation is this: Jimmy brought the woman and her friend from TAO Beach back to his hotel room. They are currently in his bed, completely inebriated. Jimmy is trying to have sex with his girl, but her friend is hating. Jimmy is trying to put the other girl onto Randy or Gary, both of whom don’t want her.”
Chris’ voice was like that of a narrator.
“So,” I started, “you didn’t want to get on drunk girl #2?”
“Well,” he answered, “I tried to help Jimmy out, but they only wanted black guys.”
Chris is Jewish. He was the only non-black guy on our trip.
“Damn son. Cold blooded. Why doesn’t Jimmy go for the Manage? If they are that drunk... I mean it IS Vegas,” I asked.
From what I was told later on, the girls made many attempts to leave, but Jimmy did his best to keep them there. They had a long meeting in the bathroom of his room and he took the opportunity to call me and voice his concern.
He told me that they weren’t down for the manage. He then spent 5 minutes saying how much he hated all his boys for not taking the other girl, leaving him punanny-less.
If there was one moral to this otherwise moral-less story it’s this: Find a girl who likes Jewish guys. The end.
We were in Vegas staying at the Venetian about a month ago. After going out the night before, I was the first one up in the morning the next day. It was about 11am and I knew that it would take a while to rally the troops. So I got fully dressed in my pool garb, grabbed my Ipod Dock (Bose. Very loud.) and went room to room, blasting Techno until everyone was up and ready.
We made it down to the pool at about 1, finally, and started gettin it crackin. We didn’t head into TAO Beach right away. We like to get our swerve on at the regular pool first, using the Ipod speakers to have our own party.
Once we were done doin our thing, we went into TAO Beach to take it to the next level. I’m not sure if you’ve ever been to TAO Beach, but I can tell you it’s small, loud, and ridiculous. When we entered, I immediately lost one of my boys. You would think it would be tough to lose somebody at a pool the size of a Texaco, but I couldn’t find him.
The thing about this boy of mine, I’ll call him “Jimmy,” is that he almost exclusively dates Asian women. It’s just his thing. We all know this and that’s why he and I have never clashed on the female front. We have very different tastes.
Anyways, after about an hours, Jimmy comes splashing into the pool with two women who fit his target demographic. He’s clearly all over one as he has her up against the wall of the pool, grinding to the sweet tunes pumping over all the patrons that afternoon.
I was happy for Jimmy, because he is just now gettin his college mojo back that he let slip away over the last year. So when I saw him with his tongue now down the girl’s throat. It was damn near magical. Many photos were taken that afternoon and I would like to say that half of them were borderline Cinemax: After Dark.
After the party was over, I headed back to my room with my roommate “Chris.” I was hella tired from a whole day of partying and needed a nap. Chris left the room and I got in bed. It was then that I started getting BBM’s from Jimmy.
“Man why is everybody actin gay?”
“#$*% these chicks aint dimes, but come on punanny punanny.”
I interrupted him.
“What are you talkin bout Jim? I have no clue,” I asked.
“It’s official, I’m off ‘Randy,’ and ‘Gary.’ All I need is a F#$%@$ wingman and they’re actin like they don’t like punanny,” he said.
Right then, Chris walked into the room laughing. I asked him if he was laughing at Jimmy’s situation and he said that he was. See, I know the Chris would handle business in that situation so I was actually more wondering why he didn’t lock and load into WIngman mode.
“Hold up Chris,” I interrupted his laughter, “WTF is goin on over in Jimmy’s room?”
Chris is a very technical talker. He’s probably as Spock-like as a man can be.
“Basically the situation is this: Jimmy brought the woman and her friend from TAO Beach back to his hotel room. They are currently in his bed, completely inebriated. Jimmy is trying to have sex with his girl, but her friend is hating. Jimmy is trying to put the other girl onto Randy or Gary, both of whom don’t want her.”
Chris’ voice was like that of a narrator.
“So,” I started, “you didn’t want to get on drunk girl #2?”
“Well,” he answered, “I tried to help Jimmy out, but they only wanted black guys.”
Chris is Jewish. He was the only non-black guy on our trip.
“Damn son. Cold blooded. Why doesn’t Jimmy go for the Manage? If they are that drunk... I mean it IS Vegas,” I asked.
From what I was told later on, the girls made many attempts to leave, but Jimmy did his best to keep them there. They had a long meeting in the bathroom of his room and he took the opportunity to call me and voice his concern.
He told me that they weren’t down for the manage. He then spent 5 minutes saying how much he hated all his boys for not taking the other girl, leaving him punanny-less.
If there was one moral to this otherwise moral-less story it’s this: Find a girl who likes Jewish guys. The end.
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