Ask Boom Tho
Ask Boom Tho
February/11/2009 03:54 PM
So, I got this email from the other day from a guy who wanted some advice. I figured I’d answer it for everyone...
Subject: Failed Boom Tho Girl
Message: So, Rod benson, there was this one chick, definite Boom Tho girl material. Gorgeous, tall, skinny blonde, 2nd in her graduating class at her large private school, and headed for Vanderbilt next year.
I met her at some party, where she saw me running the beer pong table, and was pretty much craving my keystone-splashing jumpers all night.
We started talking, it turned into something more, and I ended up stealing her from her boyfriend... I know, I know what you're thinking "damn kid, you must be a beast!"... That is what I thought too! But that is not the case it would seem.
After we dated for about three weeks, it became evident that my mustache, and the fact that I drfopped out of high school were angering her. Mind you, this is no Adam Morrisson mustache, think more of a Magnum PI mustache. And I have my GED, so don't know what the big deal is... Her and her ex boyfriend were hanging out regularly, and of course he was scheming to put his stalagmite back in her cave, but for some reason, she still thought that he just wanted to be friends. Everytime I did something wrong, there he was to swoop back in.
NOW, all of a sudden, the girl breaks up with me and is back in love with her scrawny (6'3, 148 pound) ex boyfriend who does nothing but make her cry most of the time.
I thought she was Boom Tho Girl material, should I cut her now? Or keep her on the roster and try to get the unused potential out of her?
Colin
Colin,
the girl definitely sounds very solid. She likes Beirut (Commonly mislabeled “beer pong.” Beer pong uses a paddle.), she’s tall and hot and everything you seem to be looking for, but, alas, you’ve hit quite a snag and there are obvious reasons for this.
First of all, don’t blame the ‘stache. You kiddin’ me? Baseball players rock the dirty ‘stache all day and pull girls like Erin Andrews. Adam Morrison may even pull a solid amount of breezy’s. You never know.
Now let’s check out some of the other things you told me about her:
Going to Vandy next year.
You swooped in on her and stole her from her B.F.
Tall skinny Blonde.
To me, these three things tell your whole tale, son. Clearly you are going after a girl who is still in high school. Although being in high school doesn’t mean much isn’t much, it does mean she has more peer pressure. A girl who is still in high school will look at you differently for dropping out because her friends will hate on you. Friends hating is the #2 killer of men trying to get at women. #1 is another man hating.
Which brings me to my next point. You stole her from her boyfriend. That situation is always a shady one. Yea, you’re a boss for the move, but that means that the girl is open to that sort of thing and always looking for the next best thing.You time appeared to last a solid few weeks. Now, she’s realized whatever about you that doesnt like so she moves on. If it wasn’t him, it’d be someone else. Maybe one of my Boom Tho brothers somewhere would have swooped and made his move. Thing is, they realize that you can’t wife up a swoop. 112 has a song that goes “she got with you when she already had a man, why wouldn’t she cheat on you?” Words to live by, brotha.
Lastly, you said she was a gorgeous, tall, skinny, smart blonde. This may be your main problem, son. You met her, she was feelin you, and you almost immediately fell for her. You stole her away from her boyfriend, who you knew made her cry. You showed her another side that you probly don’t show all women. You gave her the side that would NEVER make her cry, and it worked for a short time. You were so impressed with her that you did all of these things and it worked -- for a short time.
The problem is that she’s gorgeous, tall, skinny, smart, and blonde. That means that 99% of men who meet her treat her that way. She enjoys it, but loses interest in those guys, eventually, because she’s a hot girl. Her current man makes her cry, which she hates, but he doesn’t treat her TOO well, either, which she loves. Watch “My Best Friends Girl.” You’re dusty, the other guy is Dane Cook. Ridiculously hot girls need to grow into a point where they are ready for a nice guy. They get too much smothering all the time to just buy in, especially before college.
Anyway, my final judgement is: cut the cord. Don’t steal girlfriends cuz it will come back later, and don’t be TOO nice, too early. Stay mad boom tho and do what you do, playa!
--Too Much
Got a question for Boom Tho? Hit me up
Subject: Failed Boom Tho Girl
Message: So, Rod benson, there was this one chick, definite Boom Tho girl material. Gorgeous, tall, skinny blonde, 2nd in her graduating class at her large private school, and headed for Vanderbilt next year.
I met her at some party, where she saw me running the beer pong table, and was pretty much craving my keystone-splashing jumpers all night.
We started talking, it turned into something more, and I ended up stealing her from her boyfriend... I know, I know what you're thinking "damn kid, you must be a beast!"... That is what I thought too! But that is not the case it would seem.
After we dated for about three weeks, it became evident that my mustache, and the fact that I drfopped out of high school were angering her. Mind you, this is no Adam Morrisson mustache, think more of a Magnum PI mustache. And I have my GED, so don't know what the big deal is... Her and her ex boyfriend were hanging out regularly, and of course he was scheming to put his stalagmite back in her cave, but for some reason, she still thought that he just wanted to be friends. Everytime I did something wrong, there he was to swoop back in.
NOW, all of a sudden, the girl breaks up with me and is back in love with her scrawny (6'3, 148 pound) ex boyfriend who does nothing but make her cry most of the time.
I thought she was Boom Tho Girl material, should I cut her now? Or keep her on the roster and try to get the unused potential out of her?
Colin
Colin,
the girl definitely sounds very solid. She likes Beirut (Commonly mislabeled “beer pong.” Beer pong uses a paddle.), she’s tall and hot and everything you seem to be looking for, but, alas, you’ve hit quite a snag and there are obvious reasons for this.
First of all, don’t blame the ‘stache. You kiddin’ me? Baseball players rock the dirty ‘stache all day and pull girls like Erin Andrews. Adam Morrison may even pull a solid amount of breezy’s. You never know.
Now let’s check out some of the other things you told me about her:
Going to Vandy next year.
You swooped in on her and stole her from her B.F.
Tall skinny Blonde.
To me, these three things tell your whole tale, son. Clearly you are going after a girl who is still in high school. Although being in high school doesn’t mean much isn’t much, it does mean she has more peer pressure. A girl who is still in high school will look at you differently for dropping out because her friends will hate on you. Friends hating is the #2 killer of men trying to get at women. #1 is another man hating.
Which brings me to my next point. You stole her from her boyfriend. That situation is always a shady one. Yea, you’re a boss for the move, but that means that the girl is open to that sort of thing and always looking for the next best thing.You time appeared to last a solid few weeks. Now, she’s realized whatever about you that doesnt like so she moves on. If it wasn’t him, it’d be someone else. Maybe one of my Boom Tho brothers somewhere would have swooped and made his move. Thing is, they realize that you can’t wife up a swoop. 112 has a song that goes “she got with you when she already had a man, why wouldn’t she cheat on you?” Words to live by, brotha.
Lastly, you said she was a gorgeous, tall, skinny, smart blonde. This may be your main problem, son. You met her, she was feelin you, and you almost immediately fell for her. You stole her away from her boyfriend, who you knew made her cry. You showed her another side that you probly don’t show all women. You gave her the side that would NEVER make her cry, and it worked for a short time. You were so impressed with her that you did all of these things and it worked -- for a short time.
The problem is that she’s gorgeous, tall, skinny, smart, and blonde. That means that 99% of men who meet her treat her that way. She enjoys it, but loses interest in those guys, eventually, because she’s a hot girl. Her current man makes her cry, which she hates, but he doesn’t treat her TOO well, either, which she loves. Watch “My Best Friends Girl.” You’re dusty, the other guy is Dane Cook. Ridiculously hot girls need to grow into a point where they are ready for a nice guy. They get too much smothering all the time to just buy in, especially before college.
Anyway, my final judgement is: cut the cord. Don’t steal girlfriends cuz it will come back later, and don’t be TOO nice, too early. Stay mad boom tho and do what you do, playa!
--Too Much
Got a question for Boom Tho? Hit me up
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