The Trouble with Being Tall. Pt 2
19/02/07 01:09 Filed in: Random
You wanna what else sucks if you’re tall? I’ll
tell you... it’s kind of obvious, but it’s airplanes.
So much about them is just retarded.
Seriously, the airlines must think that anyone
over 6’5” is just not allowed to fly.
Considering that I have flown pretty much
weekly for the last 5 years, I pretty much know
exactly how to make a flight “comfortable” against
all odds. However there are still certain
things that will always be all bad.
Being tall has disadvantages as soon as you enter the airport. First thing, you gotta go through security. Don’t you dare worry about handing/showing your boarding pass while walking through the X-Ray machine or Whammy! Chances are good you’ll hit your head like I did.
The actual plane ride depends on which airline you fly. Being from San Diego, I am very used to Southwest. What used to be great about southwest was the fact that they let you board early if you were tall. Southwest is the only airline with “chose your own” seating anyways, and on every single southwest plane, there is a seat in the exit row with no seat in front of it. It’s pretty much the only seat I sit in. Since Southwest changed their policies, I can’t get this seat anymore unless I get an “A” card and get there first...nearly impossible. Now, sometimes there are jackasses and 4’11” in fat women who take this seat. I literally make it a point to stare at that person long enough to make them realize that they are a joke for taking it. True story, one time when I was a freshman at CAL, I boarded the plane, early, and there was a small asian woman in the seat next to “my” seat. No, she wasn’t in it, just next to it. I didn’t know how she got on early, but I didn’t care...it was “my” seat anyways. I went and started to sit in it. She taps me and says “that’s my husbands seat.” I was preparing my intimidating stare as I asked “Whos?” I hear is a deep, but raspy and somewhat recognizable voice. I turn around in full stare mode and Bill Walton is standing right behind me, waiting to sit down. It’s been almost 5 years since then, but I remember for some reason, he was kind of mean about it. It wasn’t just a “me”, it was more of a “me”. I’m pretty sure he thought I was retarded for not recognizing him earlier or realizing that he had the shortest wife on the plane. Either way, my teammates definitely made fun of me. “You got punked by Bill Walton. Throw it DOWN big man, throw it DOWN!”
I digress. So Southwest has that seat, and the the normal exit row and that’s it. I now live in North Dakota, meaning that most planes that come in and out are little tiny prop planes and whatnot. This is a whole different story. For starters, there are seat reservations, so if an exit aint open, I might as well fagitaboutit. Once I sit, there is literally no way I can fit my legs behind the chair in front of me if someone is sitting next to me, so I’m forced to turn out into the aisle.
That’s my legs completely in the aisle. This sucks because the attendants need to wheel their snacks and beverages up and down the aisle, basically running my feet over every single time. I can’t fall asleep because of all the bumping and moving that goes on in that aisle. I’m 6’10”, James Maye is only 6’7” and he has it bad too:
So it’s terribly uncomfortable the whole ride. No doubt about that. So let’s say I have to use the bathroom...suchhh a joke. Let’s assume that during my lifetime, I may get with a supermodel, and I might have a threesome, but I will never, ever, join the mile high club, no way. The bathroom is for some reason like half the height of the rest of the plane with less space than my seat. Here’s me squeezing into the bathroom:
If the plane hits some turbulence? If I slip even a little? If I try to reach the “flush” button that is usually somewhere around my knees? ALL BAD! Well I guess that’s just how it goes when you’re tall. I know that every time I leave the bathroom, the attendants kinda stare at me like “Wow, how does that work?” It’s kind of like passing a test that you didn’t study for -- every time. Each time I go in there I feel like I’m gonna fail, then my instinct takes over. It actually really bothers me that I’ll never be a mile high guy unless I get a G4 jet or something. Tough times for tall people...tough times. Well, until next time...holla! Oh and lemme kno if you wanna kno about a certain tall situation and maybe I’ll add it...
Being tall has disadvantages as soon as you enter the airport. First thing, you gotta go through security. Don’t you dare worry about handing/showing your boarding pass while walking through the X-Ray machine or Whammy! Chances are good you’ll hit your head like I did.
The actual plane ride depends on which airline you fly. Being from San Diego, I am very used to Southwest. What used to be great about southwest was the fact that they let you board early if you were tall. Southwest is the only airline with “chose your own” seating anyways, and on every single southwest plane, there is a seat in the exit row with no seat in front of it. It’s pretty much the only seat I sit in. Since Southwest changed their policies, I can’t get this seat anymore unless I get an “A” card and get there first...nearly impossible. Now, sometimes there are jackasses and 4’11” in fat women who take this seat. I literally make it a point to stare at that person long enough to make them realize that they are a joke for taking it. True story, one time when I was a freshman at CAL, I boarded the plane, early, and there was a small asian woman in the seat next to “my” seat. No, she wasn’t in it, just next to it. I didn’t know how she got on early, but I didn’t care...it was “my” seat anyways. I went and started to sit in it. She taps me and says “that’s my husbands seat.” I was preparing my intimidating stare as I asked “Whos?” I hear is a deep, but raspy and somewhat recognizable voice. I turn around in full stare mode and Bill Walton is standing right behind me, waiting to sit down. It’s been almost 5 years since then, but I remember for some reason, he was kind of mean about it. It wasn’t just a “me”, it was more of a “me”. I’m pretty sure he thought I was retarded for not recognizing him earlier or realizing that he had the shortest wife on the plane. Either way, my teammates definitely made fun of me. “You got punked by Bill Walton. Throw it DOWN big man, throw it DOWN!”
I digress. So Southwest has that seat, and the the normal exit row and that’s it. I now live in North Dakota, meaning that most planes that come in and out are little tiny prop planes and whatnot. This is a whole different story. For starters, there are seat reservations, so if an exit aint open, I might as well fagitaboutit. Once I sit, there is literally no way I can fit my legs behind the chair in front of me if someone is sitting next to me, so I’m forced to turn out into the aisle.
That’s my legs completely in the aisle. This sucks because the attendants need to wheel their snacks and beverages up and down the aisle, basically running my feet over every single time. I can’t fall asleep because of all the bumping and moving that goes on in that aisle. I’m 6’10”, James Maye is only 6’7” and he has it bad too:
So it’s terribly uncomfortable the whole ride. No doubt about that. So let’s say I have to use the bathroom...suchhh a joke. Let’s assume that during my lifetime, I may get with a supermodel, and I might have a threesome, but I will never, ever, join the mile high club, no way. The bathroom is for some reason like half the height of the rest of the plane with less space than my seat. Here’s me squeezing into the bathroom:
If the plane hits some turbulence? If I slip even a little? If I try to reach the “flush” button that is usually somewhere around my knees? ALL BAD! Well I guess that’s just how it goes when you’re tall. I know that every time I leave the bathroom, the attendants kinda stare at me like “Wow, how does that work?” It’s kind of like passing a test that you didn’t study for -- every time. Each time I go in there I feel like I’m gonna fail, then my instinct takes over. It actually really bothers me that I’ll never be a mile high guy unless I get a G4 jet or something. Tough times for tall people...tough times. Well, until next time...holla! Oh and lemme kno if you wanna kno about a certain tall situation and maybe I’ll add it...
