Funny MySpace Messages 6
11/03/07 00:36 Filed in: MySpace
Messages
Uh oh, looks like it’s time for the 6th edition of
funny myspace messages. For whatever reason,
you all seem to like these the best. I still
think they are absurd, but hey, I’ll play along if it
means somebody will think it’s funny. Well
enough for the intro, I’ve got what you came here
for, so let’s get into it...
Underage women will just never get it. First there was “ScoobyDoo”:
ScoobyDoo is 15 years old. ScoobyDoo’s headline reads: ALL YA'LL HOES NEEDS 2 STOP HATIN. ScoobyDoo sent me this:
u really play basketball
so I sent back:
no, I just say that so that girls will get at me on myspace
It’s like come on now little girl. My profile says I play basketball, half of my pics are of me hanging from the coddamn rim, and all you think to say to me was that? I mean absolutely nothing can be said that could make me wanna holla at a 15 year old girl, but you can step your effort up! She hit me back with this:
oh ok u got me on that one
Oh you think? Glad you figured that one out all by yourself.
Then there was 8@mB3®L!c!0u$ . In case you dont know what that says, it’s “MySpace” for “Bambe-licious”. Right when I read the display name, I knew this chick had to be like 13 years old. That, and the fact that this was her photo:
This is what she sent me:
Th@nk$ 4 d@ @dd. L3t m3 $pr!nkl3 d@t l!c!0u$ l0v3 0n y0 p@g3....$pr!nkl3 $pr!nkl3....
Holy hell, who do you think I am? Do you really think I have the patience to sit here and decode this coddamn message? How much effort does it take to write somethin like that out, replacing all the I’s with !’s and all the E’s with 3’s? You must be kidding. No way you could survive on a show like “Wheel of Fortune.” I can see it now...”I’d like to buy a vowel.” “Which one?” “I’d like to buy a 3, please.” “Vana, do we have any 3’s? Sorry, no 3’s.” There is no way this girl has even graduated junior high, right? Wrong. She’s 20 muthalovin years old! 20! Are you serious? Go to class! Get a job! Do something better with yourself than write these messages that require a keyword to decode. Her future may not be too bright considering the fact that in her “who I’d like to meet” section, she had this:
Of course that’s who you’d like to meet. Sweet. I bet they all type in code too...
I thought she was young, but BR@NDI really was 16. Would you like to meet her? Ok, here she is:
Yep. That’s really her picture. She actually took this photo, liked it, asked her girlfriends what they thought, agreed with them that it was good enough for myspace, then uploaded it. Showing your grill is one thing, but looking like a rabid doberman is another. Brandi sent me this:
so ulive in L.A
I was way too overwhelmed by her photo to even let that ride. I hit her back with:
way too old for u
I felt like that was better than telling her that the Halloween store is seasonal, so no, they are not hiring right now. So she hit me with this:
i wasnt tryin to get with you noh i have a man
That’s interesting that she would say that. Why would you want to know if I lived in L.A. in the first place? You wanted to send me mail or something? I highly doubt it. My boy Clayton and I were talking about it. See, Clayton has like 8500 myspace friends, so he knows his stuff maybe even better than me. He says that people do this because they don’t want the shame of being turned down. So I asked him if he had any other concrete examples. Haha of course he did. He forwarded me a couple messages that he got in the past few days, starting with this one:
What it do man.
I guess Clayton read the message, but didn’t respond. Probly because this was the person who sent it:
Well, on myspace, you can tell if someone has read your message or not. I guess “Fly Guy”, as he calls himself, noticed that the message had been read, so he hit Clayton up again:
Yo man, am I not good enough for a response? Come on dont do it dirty like that
Well, I’m sure that Clay is now thinking that this guy is not only gay (Clay’s so straight he eats his hot dogs from the middle first), but that he has some sort of self esteem issues. So clay sends back something like “I didn’t respond because I’m not gay, I don’t get down like that.” So “Fly Guy” responds by saying:
Yo it aint even that type party here man, dont know where you get that idea from buddy.
Hmm, really guy? You don’t know where he got that idea from? You asked him if you were good enough homie! You told him not to do you dirty like that! Last time I checked, that’s a pretty good idea what type of party it is. Sounds like you play for the visitors, if you know what I mean. Actually, turns out one of your teammates got at my boy Clayton too:
His name is “ ///////////////////////// IM STILL ME BITCH ////// “... whatever that means. He is just another guy in a long list of guys who ignore the “straight” tag on the myspace profile and still get at heterosexual men. Here’s what he had to say to Clay:
Whats good man,
Yo Im moving from Minnesota to Cali in about a month..
lookin for a friend to show me around..
Yea, there’s no denying it for this guy. It’s definitely that type of party. Actually, I thought it was funny because his “orientation” tag said “not sure,” but there were plenty of signs on his page that he was sure. Like the fact that is background music was by some musician named “Nasty Nate.” I’m sure that to most of you, that name means nothing, but to anyone who has seen the movie “Half Baked” it means a lot. Nasty Nate is the name of the gay guy who constantly tries to “welcome” the cop killer to prison. Anyways, there was another sign that he was definitely gay, and that was the fact that all of his top friends had the signature gay pose
Hey look, I have no problem with anyone’s orientation, but why is it that gay men have a real high tendency to take pictures that show their pubic hair, honestly? Lordy lordy, it’s tough for me to even sit here and comment on this considering I have to see the pic in order for you to see it. Oh yea, i thought this football pose was pretty funny too:
Shoulder pads and nothing else is so the hottest look right now. I saw it in GQ.
Well, Clay and I laughed about his little messages, but I knew that mine were still funnier. His man-tastical messages still have nothing on mine. I mean seriously, who sends a message like this:
I am doing an research paper for school, topic , torture, I wanted someone that is cool to do certain things to simulate this (step on me , spit , ect)
If you can use a car to getaround tonight and sun, hit me up you can have the car to use if you are coo to help me with this research, holla for more info
I don’t quite know if you read that right. This guy just invited me over to spit on him, seriously. He seriously, honestly sent me this. I checked his page. His name is “What it Doe!” and this is him:
Yea, wow huh? His main pic wasn’t as funny to me as his other pic:
Why the hell are you taking a picture of you feet, son? Why do you think people would wanna see that. The shoes aren’t cool, you’re obviously sitting at your computer, in your desk chair. Did you sniff some rubber cement at work and just go crazy? You’re 33 years old, what paper could you possibly be writing? I decided that I needed at least some answer to this madness. So I sent him this:
what the heck r u talkin about
I just had to know, ya know? Well, he hit me back with this:
I am writing a paper for my research paper, I wanted someone to simulate torture by doin certain things to me, like step on me, pierce me ect, and in return I will let you use my car, if the car use is something you can use
Forreal guy? So you ARE serious? No way. No way can you be writing a research paper. This is exactly how good people end up the next subject for “CSI: Miami.” There’s no way that this is a real paper. This guy can’t even formulate a coherent myspace message, let alone write a research paper. He wants me to PIERCE him? Hoolllllyyyyy $h!t that’s off the chains. This guy browses myspace looking for men to come by and pierce him, not even caring about the consequences. I can only assume that it’s because he is the one you should be a afraid of. That’s just unreal. I wonder if anyone actually met this guy....hopefully they’re still alive. I sent this back to him:
Wow thats a pretty hardcore study. Youre gonna let random people pierce you? and give them YOUR car? Thats crazy man
That ended it. He hasn’t messaged me back since. Luckily he was the only guy to cross the line in the past few months. That doesn’t mean that the girls stopped by any means. Check out these girls:
These girls all have one myspace page together. Their display name reads “WE BE THOSE GO GETTAS CHICKS” ... creative I know. They sent me this ambitious message, twice:
HEY YOU
DAMN ARE YOU WITH DA BIZ?
WE IF SO YOU SHOULD
GET TO KNOW DA GO GETTER CHICKS
YA DIGG
WELL YEAH YOU SHOULD
HOLLA AT US DO YOU LIKE
TO FUN IF SO .....YOU KNOW
WHAT TO DO !!!! HOLLA AT YO GIRLS
WE ROLL DIP CAN YOU HANDLE IT???
DONT THINK SO BUT WE'LL FIND OUT
ADD OR PAGE<3
I can honestly say I have no idea what the hell any of that means. Not one word. I mean coddamn, there are 5 of you, can’t one you type a coherent word? I guess they roll “DIP”, hope I can handle it! I figure, mann, might as well type something back that not even I understand and see if they can decipher it:
oh fa sho go gettaz lemme kno wutz really good wit it get back at me and we could do tha dam thang if u feelin it holla back
Damn, I’m just not as good at it as they are. Mann, it sucks that I had a good education sometimes...oh well. They didn’t seem to mind how well spoken I was:
we FEEL IT
LOL BUT YEAH GET AT
YOUR GIRLS
714/944/XXXX
I took out part of their number so that you crazy’s won’t call them or anything, but yea, they are definitely ready like spaghetti. It’s funny, but I think I just reinforced everything I stand against. These girls are all 14-16, and now that I responded to them, they think they can do it all the time. I mean, maybe they already do. I guess I’ve definitely responded to worse:
Hey there sexy! What's up just stopping by your page to show u some love.. Just want to say thanks for adding me to your web page. Well have a good day on the other side of the world. U know what to do holla at your gurl!!
SweetAnn
Hey, I know what you’re thinking: “of course you should respond to a message like this, Rod.” Well, think again:
Funky butt lovin- look at her! No way, I should respond to that. Haha, well, turns out I did. I just wanted to throw out something really ridiculous so that she would get the point that I couldn’t really be interested:
hey sweet ann. what have u been up to? I just got back from a trip to New Zealand. I wwas a guest on a ship that caught the biggest squid ever. Hit me back.
Hahaha. I just told her that I caught the biggest squid ever. There’s no way she should consider me serious whatsoever. Welllllll, wrong again. This girl proceeded to send me all of these over the last 3 weeks. I got one today, actually:
Hey there sweet and sexy!! So how is everything with u hope all is good. Well just strolling down your page to show some of my love to u. Well just take care and be safe for me. Well u know what to do holla at your gurl!
Sweetann
Hey there my Boo!! So how is it just thought I stop by and show u some mad love on your page. Justed wanted to know how your day was hope all is good with. Well i was just thinking about u and seeing if your doing the same. Well got to go now take care, u know what to do holla at your gurl..
Hey hottie! how r u, just stopping by your page to show u some love. So how was your weekend hope it was good as it is for me. So what been going on with u these days did anything good or u just chillin. So hope u doing ok, well got to go now have a good day. U know what to do holla at your gurl!
SweetAnn
ey sexy! What's up with u these days. Just passing through your page to show u some of my love!! Well how was your day there, hope all is good. Well I miss u already wish I can see but I'm so far away from u, only time can tell. But u just never might not know. I will be there in the summer to vist my cousin Jennifer. Well got to go now u know what to do holla at your gurl!!
there sexy! What's up, I'm glad u had a good time on your trip to New Zealand. So how was it in New Zeland was there alot to do back like site see. Did u buy anything nice for any of your friends and family back there. If u ever take another trip make sure u come and vist me here on Guam. I'm planing on go to vist my cousin back there in the states in Californa, during the summer. She going to show me around when I get back there. Well got to go now bye.. take care and be safe.
Oh no, what have I done? How could she really believe I caught the biggest squid ever? How? Why was she messaging me so much now? I haven’t responded since! Dang, I dont know if this will ever stop. In fact, I think it’s crazy enough that she said she “misses” me “already.” How can you miss me and we’ve never met? How crazy are you? Mann you can’t just use myspace as an excuse to go crazy, you just can’t. But then again, I guess it wouldn’t be out of the ordinary anymore.
This last girl kind of falls into her own category. I’ve never gotten a message like this before, and I assume that by posting it here, it can only make matters worse, but then again, I just have to:
you are lame. if you hate bismarck and north dakota so much then leave cuz we sure as hell dont want you here. go fulfill your nba fantasies somewhere else. especially since you think pretty much all north dakota girls are fat and you hate on the bars. if you dont like the fuckin smoke then dont go. just leave north dakota. no one wants an asshole like you here.
When I got this I felt like a retard. I’m sitting here in my apartment thinking to myself “Mann, did you really offend someone like this? No way. She has it all wrong. I’m not a bad guy at all.” So I sent this back:
Haha well Im sorry you feel so strongly, for one. Im about to update my blog tomorrow about how much Ive actually come to like it here, mainly because the people are so nice. But I can understand if you take issue with what I wrote, hey, I wrote it the first week I was there, so it was a culture shock. Anyways, you can hate me or whatever, but I don't resent your comments because I would feel the same way in your position. Just know that I dont hate Bismarck, but after the first night out, at Buck no less, that was all I saw.
Rod
P.S. You should never take anything I write so seriously, Im pretty sure nobody who knows me REALLY believes I could hate any place as much as you think I do.
So I’m on AIM, and I’ve sent the message to a couple of my friends, including JGant. This is the conversation we have:
JGant Me
Who wrote that?
some random chick on myspace
Wow
I feel that msg...she was serious
yea tell me about it
12:35 AM
Goodness...calm down
hahah forreal
She must b the mayor or sumthin...she caring a bit too much
i sent her back such a nice message
U get the weirdest msgs on myspace
How u get all that...I gets no love attall
I mean renaissance
haha
Were lovers not fighters
After talkin with JGant, I realize that he’s right. This is a myspace message. I have free reign to add it to my messages and peep her page. So the next day when I was kinda over being sad that I had angered someone so much, I went back and looked at her page. Haha, so, ladies and gentlemen, this is her:
To be honest, I don’t know which one is her, because her profile is set to “private.” No matter...so00o much to work with here anyways. What this looks like to me is that she is actually not angry at my initial feelings about Bismarck, I think she is one of the nasty, smoky chicks that I turned down one night. She’s gotta be. I mean honestly, her message says “you think pretty much all North Dakota girls are fat.” To me, that says that you must be one of those girls. Hey, it aint my fault I have a faster metabolism, that’s just life. I’ve since met a ton of girls out here who, for one, look wayyy better than you, so you don’t have to worry about what I think about the girls, and for two, would never, ever put stunna shades on and take a myspace pic like that. None of the girls I have since met have a display name that reads “hell yeah, THE motherf*cking princes” . None of these girls have a headline that reads “in a second you'll be wrapped around my finger, cuz i can do it better”. Do you really think that you have men wrapped around your finger? I actually have to assume that you will read this. I must say that in the history of men, no man was born thinking “I want a fat, smoky girl. Actually, hell yea, I want the muthaf*cking princess! She can do it better!” How can you even get mad if I criticize a bar? You are 20 years old, stay at your house party and have and older friend buy you beer next time you wanna get online and talk reckless. Hey, I have an I.D., I’ll get you some. Look, I should stop, because I really not even a mean person, but when it comes to myspace messages, it’s all fair game to me. All I have to say is, in closing, that I have no problem with Bismarck whatsoever. Like any new thing, it takes time to get used to. I’m from southern California, and I know tons of people who can’t stand it down there. I just happen to be the kind of person (like 99.9% of the people I met in Bismarck so far) who would suggest other types of scenes down there instead of hide behind a whack myspace page and tell them to leave. If you think I’m really hard on the town, or whatever, you might be right, but my sentiments have changed. Besides, I’m really hard on myself if you took the time to read anything else on my site. Well, regardless, if it wasn’t a myspace message, it wouldn’t be here, but it was. So don’t consider me making fun of you an attack, consider yourself like everyone else in this post, just another person who messaged the wrong guy.
Underage women will just never get it. First there was “ScoobyDoo”:
ScoobyDoo is 15 years old. ScoobyDoo’s headline reads: ALL YA'LL HOES NEEDS 2 STOP HATIN. ScoobyDoo sent me this:
u really play basketball
so I sent back:
no, I just say that so that girls will get at me on myspace
It’s like come on now little girl. My profile says I play basketball, half of my pics are of me hanging from the coddamn rim, and all you think to say to me was that? I mean absolutely nothing can be said that could make me wanna holla at a 15 year old girl, but you can step your effort up! She hit me back with this:
oh ok u got me on that one
Oh you think? Glad you figured that one out all by yourself.
Then there was 8@mB3®L!c!0u$ . In case you dont know what that says, it’s “MySpace” for “Bambe-licious”. Right when I read the display name, I knew this chick had to be like 13 years old. That, and the fact that this was her photo:
This is what she sent me:
Th@nk$ 4 d@ @dd. L3t m3 $pr!nkl3 d@t l!c!0u$ l0v3 0n y0 p@g3....$pr!nkl3 $pr!nkl3....
Holy hell, who do you think I am? Do you really think I have the patience to sit here and decode this coddamn message? How much effort does it take to write somethin like that out, replacing all the I’s with !’s and all the E’s with 3’s? You must be kidding. No way you could survive on a show like “Wheel of Fortune.” I can see it now...”I’d like to buy a vowel.” “Which one?” “I’d like to buy a 3, please.” “Vana, do we have any 3’s? Sorry, no 3’s.” There is no way this girl has even graduated junior high, right? Wrong. She’s 20 muthalovin years old! 20! Are you serious? Go to class! Get a job! Do something better with yourself than write these messages that require a keyword to decode. Her future may not be too bright considering the fact that in her “who I’d like to meet” section, she had this:
Of course that’s who you’d like to meet. Sweet. I bet they all type in code too...
I thought she was young, but BR@NDI really was 16. Would you like to meet her? Ok, here she is:
Yep. That’s really her picture. She actually took this photo, liked it, asked her girlfriends what they thought, agreed with them that it was good enough for myspace, then uploaded it. Showing your grill is one thing, but looking like a rabid doberman is another. Brandi sent me this:
so ulive in L.A
I was way too overwhelmed by her photo to even let that ride. I hit her back with:
way too old for u
I felt like that was better than telling her that the Halloween store is seasonal, so no, they are not hiring right now. So she hit me with this:
i wasnt tryin to get with you noh i have a man
That’s interesting that she would say that. Why would you want to know if I lived in L.A. in the first place? You wanted to send me mail or something? I highly doubt it. My boy Clayton and I were talking about it. See, Clayton has like 8500 myspace friends, so he knows his stuff maybe even better than me. He says that people do this because they don’t want the shame of being turned down. So I asked him if he had any other concrete examples. Haha of course he did. He forwarded me a couple messages that he got in the past few days, starting with this one:
What it do man.
I guess Clayton read the message, but didn’t respond. Probly because this was the person who sent it:
Well, on myspace, you can tell if someone has read your message or not. I guess “Fly Guy”, as he calls himself, noticed that the message had been read, so he hit Clayton up again:
Yo man, am I not good enough for a response? Come on dont do it dirty like that
Well, I’m sure that Clay is now thinking that this guy is not only gay (Clay’s so straight he eats his hot dogs from the middle first), but that he has some sort of self esteem issues. So clay sends back something like “I didn’t respond because I’m not gay, I don’t get down like that.” So “Fly Guy” responds by saying:
Yo it aint even that type party here man, dont know where you get that idea from buddy.
Hmm, really guy? You don’t know where he got that idea from? You asked him if you were good enough homie! You told him not to do you dirty like that! Last time I checked, that’s a pretty good idea what type of party it is. Sounds like you play for the visitors, if you know what I mean. Actually, turns out one of your teammates got at my boy Clayton too:
His name is “ ///////////////////////// IM STILL ME BITCH ////// “... whatever that means. He is just another guy in a long list of guys who ignore the “straight” tag on the myspace profile and still get at heterosexual men. Here’s what he had to say to Clay:
Whats good man,
Yo Im moving from Minnesota to Cali in about a month..
lookin for a friend to show me around..
Yea, there’s no denying it for this guy. It’s definitely that type of party. Actually, I thought it was funny because his “orientation” tag said “not sure,” but there were plenty of signs on his page that he was sure. Like the fact that is background music was by some musician named “Nasty Nate.” I’m sure that to most of you, that name means nothing, but to anyone who has seen the movie “Half Baked” it means a lot. Nasty Nate is the name of the gay guy who constantly tries to “welcome” the cop killer to prison. Anyways, there was another sign that he was definitely gay, and that was the fact that all of his top friends had the signature gay pose
Hey look, I have no problem with anyone’s orientation, but why is it that gay men have a real high tendency to take pictures that show their pubic hair, honestly? Lordy lordy, it’s tough for me to even sit here and comment on this considering I have to see the pic in order for you to see it. Oh yea, i thought this football pose was pretty funny too:
Shoulder pads and nothing else is so the hottest look right now. I saw it in GQ.
Well, Clay and I laughed about his little messages, but I knew that mine were still funnier. His man-tastical messages still have nothing on mine. I mean seriously, who sends a message like this:
I am doing an research paper for school, topic , torture, I wanted someone that is cool to do certain things to simulate this (step on me , spit , ect)
If you can use a car to getaround tonight and sun, hit me up you can have the car to use if you are coo to help me with this research, holla for more info
I don’t quite know if you read that right. This guy just invited me over to spit on him, seriously. He seriously, honestly sent me this. I checked his page. His name is “What it Doe!” and this is him:
Yea, wow huh? His main pic wasn’t as funny to me as his other pic:
Why the hell are you taking a picture of you feet, son? Why do you think people would wanna see that. The shoes aren’t cool, you’re obviously sitting at your computer, in your desk chair. Did you sniff some rubber cement at work and just go crazy? You’re 33 years old, what paper could you possibly be writing? I decided that I needed at least some answer to this madness. So I sent him this:
what the heck r u talkin about
I just had to know, ya know? Well, he hit me back with this:
I am writing a paper for my research paper, I wanted someone to simulate torture by doin certain things to me, like step on me, pierce me ect, and in return I will let you use my car, if the car use is something you can use
Forreal guy? So you ARE serious? No way. No way can you be writing a research paper. This is exactly how good people end up the next subject for “CSI: Miami.” There’s no way that this is a real paper. This guy can’t even formulate a coherent myspace message, let alone write a research paper. He wants me to PIERCE him? Hoolllllyyyyy $h!t that’s off the chains. This guy browses myspace looking for men to come by and pierce him, not even caring about the consequences. I can only assume that it’s because he is the one you should be a afraid of. That’s just unreal. I wonder if anyone actually met this guy....hopefully they’re still alive. I sent this back to him:
Wow thats a pretty hardcore study. Youre gonna let random people pierce you? and give them YOUR car? Thats crazy man
That ended it. He hasn’t messaged me back since. Luckily he was the only guy to cross the line in the past few months. That doesn’t mean that the girls stopped by any means. Check out these girls:
These girls all have one myspace page together. Their display name reads “WE BE THOSE GO GETTAS CHICKS” ... creative I know. They sent me this ambitious message, twice:
HEY YOU
DAMN ARE YOU WITH DA BIZ?
WE IF SO YOU SHOULD
GET TO KNOW DA GO GETTER CHICKS
YA DIGG
WELL YEAH YOU SHOULD
HOLLA AT US DO YOU LIKE
TO FUN IF SO .....YOU KNOW
WHAT TO DO !!!! HOLLA AT YO GIRLS
WE ROLL DIP CAN YOU HANDLE IT???
DONT THINK SO BUT WE'LL FIND OUT
ADD OR PAGE<3
I can honestly say I have no idea what the hell any of that means. Not one word. I mean coddamn, there are 5 of you, can’t one you type a coherent word? I guess they roll “DIP”, hope I can handle it! I figure, mann, might as well type something back that not even I understand and see if they can decipher it:
oh fa sho go gettaz lemme kno wutz really good wit it get back at me and we could do tha dam thang if u feelin it holla back
Damn, I’m just not as good at it as they are. Mann, it sucks that I had a good education sometimes...oh well. They didn’t seem to mind how well spoken I was:
we FEEL IT
LOL BUT YEAH GET AT
YOUR GIRLS
714/944/XXXX
I took out part of their number so that you crazy’s won’t call them or anything, but yea, they are definitely ready like spaghetti. It’s funny, but I think I just reinforced everything I stand against. These girls are all 14-16, and now that I responded to them, they think they can do it all the time. I mean, maybe they already do. I guess I’ve definitely responded to worse:
Hey there sexy! What's up just stopping by your page to show u some love.. Just want to say thanks for adding me to your web page. Well have a good day on the other side of the world. U know what to do holla at your gurl!!
SweetAnn
Hey, I know what you’re thinking: “of course you should respond to a message like this, Rod.” Well, think again:
Funky butt lovin- look at her! No way, I should respond to that. Haha, well, turns out I did. I just wanted to throw out something really ridiculous so that she would get the point that I couldn’t really be interested:
hey sweet ann. what have u been up to? I just got back from a trip to New Zealand. I wwas a guest on a ship that caught the biggest squid ever. Hit me back.
Hahaha. I just told her that I caught the biggest squid ever. There’s no way she should consider me serious whatsoever. Welllllll, wrong again. This girl proceeded to send me all of these over the last 3 weeks. I got one today, actually:
Hey there sweet and sexy!! So how is everything with u hope all is good. Well just strolling down your page to show some of my love to u. Well just take care and be safe for me. Well u know what to do holla at your gurl!
Sweetann
Hey there my Boo!! So how is it just thought I stop by and show u some mad love on your page. Justed wanted to know how your day was hope all is good with. Well i was just thinking about u and seeing if your doing the same. Well got to go now take care, u know what to do holla at your gurl..
Hey hottie! how r u, just stopping by your page to show u some love. So how was your weekend hope it was good as it is for me. So what been going on with u these days did anything good or u just chillin. So hope u doing ok, well got to go now have a good day. U know what to do holla at your gurl!
SweetAnn
ey sexy! What's up with u these days. Just passing through your page to show u some of my love!! Well how was your day there, hope all is good. Well I miss u already wish I can see but I'm so far away from u, only time can tell. But u just never might not know. I will be there in the summer to vist my cousin Jennifer. Well got to go now u know what to do holla at your gurl!!
there sexy! What's up, I'm glad u had a good time on your trip to New Zealand. So how was it in New Zeland was there alot to do back like site see. Did u buy anything nice for any of your friends and family back there. If u ever take another trip make sure u come and vist me here on Guam. I'm planing on go to vist my cousin back there in the states in Californa, during the summer. She going to show me around when I get back there. Well got to go now bye.. take care and be safe.
Oh no, what have I done? How could she really believe I caught the biggest squid ever? How? Why was she messaging me so much now? I haven’t responded since! Dang, I dont know if this will ever stop. In fact, I think it’s crazy enough that she said she “misses” me “already.” How can you miss me and we’ve never met? How crazy are you? Mann you can’t just use myspace as an excuse to go crazy, you just can’t. But then again, I guess it wouldn’t be out of the ordinary anymore.
This last girl kind of falls into her own category. I’ve never gotten a message like this before, and I assume that by posting it here, it can only make matters worse, but then again, I just have to:
you are lame. if you hate bismarck and north dakota so much then leave cuz we sure as hell dont want you here. go fulfill your nba fantasies somewhere else. especially since you think pretty much all north dakota girls are fat and you hate on the bars. if you dont like the fuckin smoke then dont go. just leave north dakota. no one wants an asshole like you here.
When I got this I felt like a retard. I’m sitting here in my apartment thinking to myself “Mann, did you really offend someone like this? No way. She has it all wrong. I’m not a bad guy at all.” So I sent this back:
Haha well Im sorry you feel so strongly, for one. Im about to update my blog tomorrow about how much Ive actually come to like it here, mainly because the people are so nice. But I can understand if you take issue with what I wrote, hey, I wrote it the first week I was there, so it was a culture shock. Anyways, you can hate me or whatever, but I don't resent your comments because I would feel the same way in your position. Just know that I dont hate Bismarck, but after the first night out, at Buck no less, that was all I saw.
Rod
P.S. You should never take anything I write so seriously, Im pretty sure nobody who knows me REALLY believes I could hate any place as much as you think I do.
So I’m on AIM, and I’ve sent the message to a couple of my friends, including JGant. This is the conversation we have:
JGant Me
Who wrote that?
some random chick on myspace
Wow
I feel that msg...she was serious
yea tell me about it
12:35 AM
Goodness...calm down
hahah forreal
She must b the mayor or sumthin...she caring a bit too much
i sent her back such a nice message
U get the weirdest msgs on myspace
How u get all that...I gets no love attall
I mean renaissance
haha
Were lovers not fighters
After talkin with JGant, I realize that he’s right. This is a myspace message. I have free reign to add it to my messages and peep her page. So the next day when I was kinda over being sad that I had angered someone so much, I went back and looked at her page. Haha, so, ladies and gentlemen, this is her:
To be honest, I don’t know which one is her, because her profile is set to “private.” No matter...so00o much to work with here anyways. What this looks like to me is that she is actually not angry at my initial feelings about Bismarck, I think she is one of the nasty, smoky chicks that I turned down one night. She’s gotta be. I mean honestly, her message says “you think pretty much all North Dakota girls are fat.” To me, that says that you must be one of those girls. Hey, it aint my fault I have a faster metabolism, that’s just life. I’ve since met a ton of girls out here who, for one, look wayyy better than you, so you don’t have to worry about what I think about the girls, and for two, would never, ever put stunna shades on and take a myspace pic like that. None of the girls I have since met have a display name that reads “hell yeah, THE motherf*cking princes” . None of these girls have a headline that reads “in a second you'll be wrapped around my finger, cuz i can do it better”. Do you really think that you have men wrapped around your finger? I actually have to assume that you will read this. I must say that in the history of men, no man was born thinking “I want a fat, smoky girl. Actually, hell yea, I want the muthaf*cking princess! She can do it better!” How can you even get mad if I criticize a bar? You are 20 years old, stay at your house party and have and older friend buy you beer next time you wanna get online and talk reckless. Hey, I have an I.D., I’ll get you some. Look, I should stop, because I really not even a mean person, but when it comes to myspace messages, it’s all fair game to me. All I have to say is, in closing, that I have no problem with Bismarck whatsoever. Like any new thing, it takes time to get used to. I’m from southern California, and I know tons of people who can’t stand it down there. I just happen to be the kind of person (like 99.9% of the people I met in Bismarck so far) who would suggest other types of scenes down there instead of hide behind a whack myspace page and tell them to leave. If you think I’m really hard on the town, or whatever, you might be right, but my sentiments have changed. Besides, I’m really hard on myself if you took the time to read anything else on my site. Well, regardless, if it wasn’t a myspace message, it wouldn’t be here, but it was. So don’t consider me making fun of you an attack, consider yourself like everyone else in this post, just another person who messaged the wrong guy.
