Dakota
North Dakota Livin'
April/03/2008 03:26 PM
That picture is a little blurry. My phone doesn't have the best of focus abilities. Regardless, the only thing you need to see in this picture is the temperature. It's still cold out here. It's actually snowing right now. Aint that some ish right there? Check it out...
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Sometimes The Night Aint Right
January/08/2008 02:32 PM
I was at Buck's again walking around as usual. It was like a Wednesday or something so there was almost nobody there. I walked around with a dazed look on my face for a little while. Finally my dazed look turned into one that said "I've given up for tonight." I started thinking about whether I was going to play Madden or Halo when I got home when someone interrupted my thought process.
"Don't look at me," some girl yelled from the middle of the dance floor. My eyes refocused as I came out of my day dream. I was looking at her, completely accidentally. It hit me then that she was not worth looking at. I hate to say it, but she was just not attractive at all. She came at me with the don't look at her bit and yet I would just as quickly come back at her with the same line.... So I did.
Check it out...
"Don't look at me," some girl yelled from the middle of the dance floor. My eyes refocused as I came out of my day dream. I was looking at her, completely accidentally. It hit me then that she was not worth looking at. I hate to say it, but she was just not attractive at all. She came at me with the don't look at her bit and yet I would just as quickly come back at her with the same line.... So I did.
Check it out...
Trinidad South America?
November/29/2007 01:51 PM
I need your help. I have a teammate named Kibwe Trim. I call him Tribwe because thats what I do. Tribwe is from Trinidad. It was funny when he first told he was a "Trinidadian". It led me to call him names such as "Trinidaddy Long Legs" and "Trick Daddy".
Anyways, he told me that Trinidad was real close to Venezuela. I told him it was probably approximately 8 stones throws away and he didn't disagree. I then said that he was the second South American I've played with. Morro was the first ("...they laugh at Morro"). Well, Tribwe did not respond well to being called South American. In fact, he refuses to admit that he is South American. I told him there is no shame in being South American. I am a proud North American myself, why not be proud? Check it out...
Anyways, he told me that Trinidad was real close to Venezuela. I told him it was probably approximately 8 stones throws away and he didn't disagree. I then said that he was the second South American I've played with. Morro was the first ("...they laugh at Morro"). Well, Tribwe did not respond well to being called South American. In fact, he refuses to admit that he is South American. I told him there is no shame in being South American. I am a proud North American myself, why not be proud? Check it out...
It Just Got Real
October/29/2007 01:36 PM
Today I made my return to Bismarck, North Dakota official. I faxed in my contract sealing my season (or hopefully just a part of it) as a D-League baller. You know what I'm saying... like KG except I aint worth a dollar, right?
My contract had the usual agreements on it:
Do you agree to compete in the NBDL?
Yes.
Do you agree to make way less money than you would overseas in hopes that you recieve a call-up and a shot at the NBA life?
Yes.
Do you agree to go back to North Dakota?
Sure.
Do you agree to living in sub zero temperatures and snow for months at a time?
Done it before.
Are you sure, considering that you still don't know how to drive in the snow?
Gotta learn sometime.
Do you agree to 8 hour van rides, 10 day road trips, 5 hour layovers, and flights that always connect through Denver or Mineapolis?
Yes.
Are you sure? Denver is really scary to in and out of with all that turbulence and all.
It's Halloween, there are scarier things. Yes.
Did you look at the schedule and notice that you will not leave the midwest for months?
Uh huh.
Do you agree to playing in for and in front of the best fans in the D-League?
I would do it for free (not really). Yes.
Are you ready to rock?!
Yep.
And roll?
Indeed.
And thus, after signing off on (and mentally agreeing to) all of the above stipulations, I can proclaim my return. I am returning to Bucks, and Stadium, B Dubs and Dennys, the Steak Buffet and Wal Mart, Best Buy and Ressler Chevrolet commercials. Lets rock! You know, and roll...
My contract had the usual agreements on it:
Do you agree to compete in the NBDL?
Yes.
Do you agree to make way less money than you would overseas in hopes that you recieve a call-up and a shot at the NBA life?
Yes.
Do you agree to go back to North Dakota?
Sure.
Do you agree to living in sub zero temperatures and snow for months at a time?
Done it before.
Are you sure, considering that you still don't know how to drive in the snow?
Gotta learn sometime.
Do you agree to 8 hour van rides, 10 day road trips, 5 hour layovers, and flights that always connect through Denver or Mineapolis?
Yes.
Are you sure? Denver is really scary to in and out of with all that turbulence and all.
It's Halloween, there are scarier things. Yes.
Did you look at the schedule and notice that you will not leave the midwest for months?
Uh huh.
Do you agree to playing in for and in front of the best fans in the D-League?
I would do it for free (not really). Yes.
Are you ready to rock?!
Yep.
And roll?
Indeed.
And thus, after signing off on (and mentally agreeing to) all of the above stipulations, I can proclaim my return. I am returning to Bucks, and Stadium, B Dubs and Dennys, the Steak Buffet and Wal Mart, Best Buy and Ressler Chevrolet commercials. Lets rock! You know, and roll...
The Offseason Part 3
August/02/2007 12:27 PM
I'm currently awaiting a phone call from my agent alerting me of who I will go to training camp with (provided that anybody out there wants me). While in wait mode, I got a phone call from the media relations guy (Mike, if that's not your title, my bad) from the NBDL Dakota Wizards, Mike. Mike informed my that the NBA would contact me soon about an appearance they hoped I would do. A few days later I was on the phone with an NBA representative who informed me that the NBA has something called the NBA Fair. The NBA Fair is an NBA attraction that travels to state fairs all over the country. Specifically, the NBA Fair travels to fairs that are outside of traditional NBA Markets.
The NBA agreed to pay me to go to the NBA Fair at North Dakota's state fair in Minot, ND, to sign autographs and play games with the kids. I would be obligated to appear for an hour each day for two days. I figured it would be cool, plus there was money involved, duh.
When I stepped off the plane in North Dakota, there was a local sports reporter there who was ready to interview me. You can watch that here: http://www.kxma.com/video.asp?ArticleId=147564&VideoId=11908
Check it out...
The NBA agreed to pay me to go to the NBA Fair at North Dakota's state fair in Minot, ND, to sign autographs and play games with the kids. I would be obligated to appear for an hour each day for two days. I figured it would be cool, plus there was money involved, duh.
When I stepped off the plane in North Dakota, there was a local sports reporter there who was ready to interview me. You can watch that here: http://www.kxma.com/video.asp?ArticleId=147564&VideoId=11908
Check it out...
Jerome Beasely Strikes Back
April/17/2007 11:09 AM
If you remember before, Jerome Beasely claimed that he can do everything. If it can be done, he can do it. Well I got flooded with suggestions of things you thought he couldn’t do. You were all wrong. He can do everything you asked of him. Yea, that’s right. Everything. I know some of you are like “No way, mine was IMPOSSIBLE.” Alas, he can do them all. The only thing he says he can’t do is be a woman, so those of you who suggested pregnancy win by default I guess. Everyone else? You lose. He can do them all...well, so he says. I picked out some of my favorites that were sent to me so you can be the judge. Is JB all talk or can he really do everything? Let’s see...
Check it out...
Check it out...
We Got It Done - No Homo
April/15/2007 11:07 AM
You’ve seen it a hundred times. There is a team who wins a championship. They head back to the locker room jubilant as the camera crews follow them in. The lockers are already covered with plastic and the hats and t-shirts are already coming out the their boxes. All of a sudden, someone pops open a bottle of champagne and the madness begins. That’s what it’s all about. Champions.
Well, as the new D-League regular season champions, we had a very similar celebration. We walked back up to the second floor of the Austin convention center. We made our way into the locker room and said a few “no-homo” jokes. There was no plastic to cover the lockers, and there were no t-shirts and hats. There was no champagne either. There were 13 guys -- 10 players, 2 coaches, 1 trainer -- and a bottle of cheap vodka. “Pour me a shot into this Gatorade bottle.” Thus the celebration began. Each of us toasted our Gatorade “Rain” - Vodka mix. The strain of a long season showed on pretty much everyones faces. As for me, it was kind of funny, yet fitting. This was the exact place I had started the season back in November: in Austin, as a Toro, under the late Dennis Johnson, playing the small forward, starting out the season 0-12, not knowing a thing about pro basketball. Now I’ve got my drink, toasting the best record in the League for the Wizards, playing the post, living in North Dakota. Funny how that works. There was actually a pretty tight celebration when we got back to Bismarck. Some of our greatest fans were waiting for us at the airport which was awesome. That is why when we win the whole thing I will feel much more rewarded, because the fans will be there to take it in with us. Check it out...
Well, as the new D-League regular season champions, we had a very similar celebration. We walked back up to the second floor of the Austin convention center. We made our way into the locker room and said a few “no-homo” jokes. There was no plastic to cover the lockers, and there were no t-shirts and hats. There was no champagne either. There were 13 guys -- 10 players, 2 coaches, 1 trainer -- and a bottle of cheap vodka. “Pour me a shot into this Gatorade bottle.” Thus the celebration began. Each of us toasted our Gatorade “Rain” - Vodka mix. The strain of a long season showed on pretty much everyones faces. As for me, it was kind of funny, yet fitting. This was the exact place I had started the season back in November: in Austin, as a Toro, under the late Dennis Johnson, playing the small forward, starting out the season 0-12, not knowing a thing about pro basketball. Now I’ve got my drink, toasting the best record in the League for the Wizards, playing the post, living in North Dakota. Funny how that works. There was actually a pretty tight celebration when we got back to Bismarck. Some of our greatest fans were waiting for us at the airport which was awesome. That is why when we win the whole thing I will feel much more rewarded, because the fans will be there to take it in with us. Check it out...
D-League-ing It
April/02/2007 11:05 AM
I haven’t written a thing in 3 weeks. Why? Well I’ll say it has 30% to do with the fact that I play Madden during my usual blog time, but also because I was in the middle of a very productive month on the court. Since I’ve sucked the last few games, I guess I can get back to my old bloggin’ ways.
It’s been a long few weeks but there havent been a lot of developments on and off the court. This month saw such events as my 27 point 14 rebound game, but also such events as my 2 point 3 rebound game where I was ejected with two techs. Yea, me, Rod Benson ejected with two techs. People who know me know that it takes quite a lot to get me mad. Many people dont even know what an angry, frustrated, kick-me-out-of-the-game-before-I-lose-my-mind Rod Benson looks like...here’s an example:
Check it out...
It’s been a long few weeks but there havent been a lot of developments on and off the court. This month saw such events as my 27 point 14 rebound game, but also such events as my 2 point 3 rebound game where I was ejected with two techs. Yea, me, Rod Benson ejected with two techs. People who know me know that it takes quite a lot to get me mad. Many people dont even know what an angry, frustrated, kick-me-out-of-the-game-before-I-lose-my-mind Rod Benson looks like...here’s an example:
Check it out...
Pick-Up Attempt
March/10/2007 10:46 AM
I see some of the most ridiculous pick up attempts of all time, almost on a daily basis. Usually it’s along the lines of a loud yell like “AY!” or, “Can I buy you a drink?”, or something else that I know that the girl can’t possibly go for, but sometimes it’s a little worse.
A few days ago I saw one of the funnier attempts I’ve seen in a while took place right in front of me. I was at a local restaurant with a teammate of mine. When we get seated, he notices a waitress on the other side of the restaurant and asks our waiter to re-seat us to the woman’s section. I had already gotten my Lemonade and now this guy wants to move. We get over there and she is a pretty attractive girl, so I’m interested to see what my teammate is gonna do. She comes over to take our orders. I say something along the way that makes her smile before she leaves. He says to me that this is his girl, he’ll handle it. Then, just to mess with my teammate, I tell him that I’m gonna make a move and give her my business card. Haha, he knows that he can’t match the card, so he asks another waiter for a pen and some paper. He takes the paper and starts writing a note. I tell him that the whole note thing is a little bit junior high. He should man up and ask her for her number. He says to me, dead serious “I would, but I don’t know if that guy got her number earlier. Besides you can’t come at white girls like that, you need to say this cheesy $h!^ to get them to smile. Besides, she might be intimidated by all of us being here at once.” I lean over and read as he writes:
Check it out...
A few days ago I saw one of the funnier attempts I’ve seen in a while took place right in front of me. I was at a local restaurant with a teammate of mine. When we get seated, he notices a waitress on the other side of the restaurant and asks our waiter to re-seat us to the woman’s section. I had already gotten my Lemonade and now this guy wants to move. We get over there and she is a pretty attractive girl, so I’m interested to see what my teammate is gonna do. She comes over to take our orders. I say something along the way that makes her smile before she leaves. He says to me that this is his girl, he’ll handle it. Then, just to mess with my teammate, I tell him that I’m gonna make a move and give her my business card. Haha, he knows that he can’t match the card, so he asks another waiter for a pen and some paper. He takes the paper and starts writing a note. I tell him that the whole note thing is a little bit junior high. He should man up and ask her for her number. He says to me, dead serious “I would, but I don’t know if that guy got her number earlier. Besides you can’t come at white girls like that, you need to say this cheesy $h!^ to get them to smile. Besides, she might be intimidated by all of us being here at once.” I lean over and read as he writes:
Check it out...
Fast Times in North and South Dakota
March/10/2007 10:43 AM
It’s been a pretty uneventful couple of weeks since I last had anything worth saying, but I guess there have been enough developments to finally let everyone know how I’m livin.
Last time I wrote about Bismarck, I complained that it was way too cold, and snowy, and that the only girls I could find were fat and smoky. Well, things havent changed too much, but I’ll tell you what, it was 20 below back then and it’s 30 above now which feels like 80. I haven’t worn my gloves in weeks, and my jacket is currently more of an accessory than something to keep me warm. I know what you’re thinkin: “Hey, it’s only 30, you do need a jacket at all times.” I beg to differ, sweaters do the trick just fine right now, so I can’t complain about the cold too much. However it’s still cold enough for ice to be everywhere on the ground, meaning that if you take one false step, your ass is liable to end up back flipping onto your neck. I take little baby steps all the time to avoid the career ending injury that I’m sure is waiting for me.
Check it out...
Last time I wrote about Bismarck, I complained that it was way too cold, and snowy, and that the only girls I could find were fat and smoky. Well, things havent changed too much, but I’ll tell you what, it was 20 below back then and it’s 30 above now which feels like 80. I haven’t worn my gloves in weeks, and my jacket is currently more of an accessory than something to keep me warm. I know what you’re thinkin: “Hey, it’s only 30, you do need a jacket at all times.” I beg to differ, sweaters do the trick just fine right now, so I can’t complain about the cold too much. However it’s still cold enough for ice to be everywhere on the ground, meaning that if you take one false step, your ass is liable to end up back flipping onto your neck. I take little baby steps all the time to avoid the career ending injury that I’m sure is waiting for me.
Check it out...
Bismarck, North Dakota
January/22/2007 10:28 AM
As you know, or dont know, I live in Bismarck. I just got off the phone with my boy Future who didnt know I was here yet. When I told him I was out here he said “Mann I dont even know what to say to that. It’s like you just told me you moved out to the moon or something.” I can understand his sentiments because I feel like I moved to the moon. It’s a crazy lifestyle to just up and go from Austin, to LA, to Bismarck in a matter of 7 days, but I did it. Anyways, Im gonna lay a few things out there so you get a good idea of what “the moon” is really like:
1. Its cold. When I got in everyone was like “youre gonna freeze man, you dont have a jacket?” And I would always answer “No, I dont have a jacket, but Ill only be outside for a few seconds anyways so it really doesnt matter. WRONG. No, I wasnt wrong about the few seconds part, but even in a few seconds, the coldness can just overtake you. I left LA and it was 82 degrees. When I got into Bismarck it was 14 below zero. Thats a 96 degree difference right there. Every breath I take out here my lungs feel like a rusty bike chain....STRUGGLIN! I had to walk to Carl’s JR. It started out as a walk, but I was soon jogging so that I wouldnt get stuck in place. When I was coming back my hand froze itself to the cup of my sprite. There were 6 consecutive days of 20 under or colder. Yesterday it was 1. If that didnt make any sense to you it’s probably because you arent used to seeing 1 written as a temperature. It was 1 degree yesterday. And to be honest it felt soo0o0o warm outside. I felt like I was baked into an apple pie...warm and toasty out on the counter top and it was really only 1 outside. I invested in a new coat and a pari of gloves. Those two things, right now, are worth more to me than a baby is to Britney Spears. Anyways, I just wanted to reiterate that it’s cold. Oh, and they make me pump the gas cuz Im a rookie and the gloves make me cry tears of joy now.
Check it out...
1. Its cold. When I got in everyone was like “youre gonna freeze man, you dont have a jacket?” And I would always answer “No, I dont have a jacket, but Ill only be outside for a few seconds anyways so it really doesnt matter. WRONG. No, I wasnt wrong about the few seconds part, but even in a few seconds, the coldness can just overtake you. I left LA and it was 82 degrees. When I got into Bismarck it was 14 below zero. Thats a 96 degree difference right there. Every breath I take out here my lungs feel like a rusty bike chain....STRUGGLIN! I had to walk to Carl’s JR. It started out as a walk, but I was soon jogging so that I wouldnt get stuck in place. When I was coming back my hand froze itself to the cup of my sprite. There were 6 consecutive days of 20 under or colder. Yesterday it was 1. If that didnt make any sense to you it’s probably because you arent used to seeing 1 written as a temperature. It was 1 degree yesterday. And to be honest it felt soo0o0o warm outside. I felt like I was baked into an apple pie...warm and toasty out on the counter top and it was really only 1 outside. I invested in a new coat and a pari of gloves. Those two things, right now, are worth more to me than a baby is to Britney Spears. Anyways, I just wanted to reiterate that it’s cold. Oh, and they make me pump the gas cuz Im a rookie and the gloves make me cry tears of joy now.
Check it out...