Poems
Poem Game 3
May/13/2008 03:55 PM
I was down in San Diego last week to visit the mother when I decided that it would be a good idea to visit my high school's basketball team banquet. You know, one of those end of the year, let's celebrate the good guys and give certificates to the scrubs, type of deal.
While I was there, some of the kids on the Varsity team wanted to know how I felt about helping them work on one of the servers with some poetry. Specifically, they wanted to play The Poem Game. I was all for it, of course. I was able to grab a pen and a napkin and I got to work. It seems to be getting harder to come up with new poems on the fly, but I was still able to whip one up. This is what I wrote for them:
Outside this room golf is everywhere,
But inside this place love is in the air
You wear black and white, I want to Looky
You look like a tasty Oreo cookie
Think about the games we could play
In a golf cart out on Lomas Santa Fe
Monica, you work here, I'm from Torrey Pines
Monica I could say your name a 1000 times
If I'm a ninja turtle, be my April O'niel
Come get my Ooze, if that's how you feel
Better yet I'll be Shrek, you be Fiona
We'd make sweet artwork like the Mona
Let me take you out to lunch, be my Hannah Montana
You bring some chips, I'll bring the banana!
I gave the napkin back to Ramsey Hopkins, a junior at TP. He then gave it to the server. Here's how it went down:
Untitled from Rod Benson on Vimeo.
While I was there, some of the kids on the Varsity team wanted to know how I felt about helping them work on one of the servers with some poetry. Specifically, they wanted to play The Poem Game. I was all for it, of course. I was able to grab a pen and a napkin and I got to work. It seems to be getting harder to come up with new poems on the fly, but I was still able to whip one up. This is what I wrote for them:
Outside this room golf is everywhere,
But inside this place love is in the air
You wear black and white, I want to Looky
You look like a tasty Oreo cookie
Think about the games we could play
In a golf cart out on Lomas Santa Fe
Monica, you work here, I'm from Torrey Pines
Monica I could say your name a 1000 times
If I'm a ninja turtle, be my April O'niel
Come get my Ooze, if that's how you feel
Better yet I'll be Shrek, you be Fiona
We'd make sweet artwork like the Mona
Let me take you out to lunch, be my Hannah Montana
You bring some chips, I'll bring the banana!
I gave the napkin back to Ramsey Hopkins, a junior at TP. He then gave it to the server. Here's how it went down:
Untitled from Rod Benson on Vimeo.
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Ode to Jenna Fischer Parte Dos
April/20/2008 03:40 PM
Earlier today, I went out and bought "Walk Hard." I popped into my xbox and started watching it. I had no idea Jenna Fischer was in that bad boy looking as gorgeous as ever. It pissed me off in a way. Why did nobody tell me that the official Boom Tho girl was all spiced up and hot in a Judd Apatow movie? It caught me by surprise. I would have gone to the theatre to see it if I had known all the details.
Anyways, the fact of the matter is that the Boom Tho GOTM's have gotten more attention lately than the original Boom Tho Girl. Jenna, I haven't forgotten about you. We have a chemistry that only two people who have never met can share. It's special to only us. So, I decided that you needed another poem to show you just how I feel. The first poem can be seen in "Ode to Jenna Fischer", but this is the second one. This is Part Dos!
The past few months have been really whack
But 2 weeks ago at 7 The Office came back
I'm so glad she came back - I've missed her
That's right, I've missed you Jenna Fischer
I know you think we don't know each other
But after watching Dewey Cox, I think you need a brother
If you were some milk, I'd be like Ovaltine
We'd get some brown in you if you know what I mean
Yep, I said it, I'm anything but coy,
If your life is a happy meal, then I'm your free toy
My beds like a ship, let me be your captain
Come to my room, "Where Boom Tho Happens"
So what if Will Farrell felt you up in blades of glory
The irrigation room gets wild after dwights bedtime story
You're like the Little Mermaid, Ariel of the Sea
Ill go to the water where it is hotter take it from me
Let me show you why they call me Too Much
I just want to treat you like my Ipod Touch
The next line is dirty, If you know what I mean
Treat me like a Nintendo Cartridge that's not clean
We could be like Jules and Seth, solid as a rock
You can scratch my back, but it's located on my --
Let's make some sweet music like Bleeker and Juno
When it comes to Boom Tho girls, you're numero uno!
Anyways, the fact of the matter is that the Boom Tho GOTM's have gotten more attention lately than the original Boom Tho Girl. Jenna, I haven't forgotten about you. We have a chemistry that only two people who have never met can share. It's special to only us. So, I decided that you needed another poem to show you just how I feel. The first poem can be seen in "Ode to Jenna Fischer", but this is the second one. This is Part Dos!
The past few months have been really whack
But 2 weeks ago at 7 The Office came back
I'm so glad she came back - I've missed her
That's right, I've missed you Jenna Fischer
I know you think we don't know each other
But after watching Dewey Cox, I think you need a brother
If you were some milk, I'd be like Ovaltine
We'd get some brown in you if you know what I mean
Yep, I said it, I'm anything but coy,
If your life is a happy meal, then I'm your free toy
My beds like a ship, let me be your captain
Come to my room, "Where Boom Tho Happens"
So what if Will Farrell felt you up in blades of glory
The irrigation room gets wild after dwights bedtime story
You're like the Little Mermaid, Ariel of the Sea
Ill go to the water where it is hotter take it from me
Let me show you why they call me Too Much
I just want to treat you like my Ipod Touch
The next line is dirty, If you know what I mean
Treat me like a Nintendo Cartridge that's not clean
We could be like Jules and Seth, solid as a rock
You can scratch my back, but it's located on my --
Let's make some sweet music like Bleeker and Juno
When it comes to Boom Tho girls, you're numero uno!
Poem Game Pt 2
December/17/2007 02:22 PM
Sometimes you want more than just a meal. Sometimes you need a little spice in your life. Sometimes you need to play the poem game. A place like Ft. Wayne, Indiana can have that affect on you. Maybe it's the blistering cold, or the wind that makes in colder. Maybe it's the four day roadtrip that makes you glad to get back to Bismarck, but somewhere along the way you get real hyped for some poem game.
Before I begin, I want to make it perfectly clear that these poems are not copyrgithed or anything. Steal these, rewrite em, use em. Why not? If I help someone out there discover their gift of charm and use it to thier advantage, great. Nothing would delight me more!
Now, where was I? Oh yea. So, we got to IHOP a couple of days ago for a game day breakfast. I am personally a fan of the Rooty Tooty meal, so I ordered one. You know the Rooty Tooty. 2 eggs, 2 bacon, 2 suasage, 2 ham slices, hash browns and 2 fruit covered pancakes. So sweet and delicious. While waiting for my food, I decided that I would try my hand at the poem game. I mean, success was not really the goal here, but entertainment was at a premium so I decided to give it a go. I asked our server for a pen and got to work.
Here's what I came up with:
Check it out...
Before I begin, I want to make it perfectly clear that these poems are not copyrgithed or anything. Steal these, rewrite em, use em. Why not? If I help someone out there discover their gift of charm and use it to thier advantage, great. Nothing would delight me more!
Now, where was I? Oh yea. So, we got to IHOP a couple of days ago for a game day breakfast. I am personally a fan of the Rooty Tooty meal, so I ordered one. You know the Rooty Tooty. 2 eggs, 2 bacon, 2 suasage, 2 ham slices, hash browns and 2 fruit covered pancakes. So sweet and delicious. While waiting for my food, I decided that I would try my hand at the poem game. I mean, success was not really the goal here, but entertainment was at a premium so I decided to give it a go. I asked our server for a pen and got to work.
Here's what I came up with:
Check it out...
Poem Game 1.5
December/02/2007 01:56 PM
First things first, I guess my teammate from last time had a talk with the waitress and she told him that she had a boyfriend. They discussed her situation and decided to just be friends. Now that you have some closure on the last poem game entry, we can move forward.
This time we were all signing autographs as a team. These autograph sessions can get to be a little tedious at times, so I like to spice things up a bit. When we were almost done, the same teammate as before asked me to write another poem for him. The thing about it was that we were back at Buffalo Wild Wings, the same place where the first poem was given. I asked him who he could possibly give it to and he didnt answer. He just wanted another poem.
I sat down with my pen and paper and got to work:
Check it out...
This time we were all signing autographs as a team. These autograph sessions can get to be a little tedious at times, so I like to spice things up a bit. When we were almost done, the same teammate as before asked me to write another poem for him. The thing about it was that we were back at Buffalo Wild Wings, the same place where the first poem was given. I asked him who he could possibly give it to and he didnt answer. He just wanted another poem.
I sat down with my pen and paper and got to work:
Check it out...
The New Poem Game
November/15/2007 01:49 PM
We were all at Buffalo Wild Wings when one of my teammates told me that he wanted to talk to one of the waitresses. He didn't know which one, and he didn't know how he would do it, but he knew he wanted to. It seemed as though one week in North Dakota had quickly become too long to not attempt to find a woman.
I was very willing to help. Why not? The guy obviously wanted to have fun with it and also hopefully take a phone number with his to-go box as we left the building. All 8 of us there that night knew that if I was to get involved that it could get a little bit ridiculous. I mean, let's face it. Everybody had heard the rumors about my blog and my antics. New guys were curious and returning guys were astonished at how much hype tmrb had gotten since that championship game day back in April.
Check it out...
I was very willing to help. Why not? The guy obviously wanted to have fun with it and also hopefully take a phone number with his to-go box as we left the building. All 8 of us there that night knew that if I was to get involved that it could get a little bit ridiculous. I mean, let's face it. Everybody had heard the rumors about my blog and my antics. New guys were curious and returning guys were astonished at how much hype tmrb had gotten since that championship game day back in April.
Check it out...
Ode to Jenna Fischer
September/16/2007 12:53 PM
If you didn't get a look at the new number 4 on my home page, Jenna Fischer has taken the place. Now, you must understand that I don't think I have any real shot of meeting her, however, I love "The Office", which she stars in. I loved her in Blades of Glory. I recently was informed that she is getting a divorce. Now, after adding her to my friends on MySpace, I have decided to write her a poem so that she knows just how I feel...
Ode to Jenna Fischer
But soft, what light breaks through yonder television?
It is the east, and Jenna Fischer is the sun
I don't mean to be silly, sick, crazy or rude
But when I watch The Office, I wanna be your dude
I cant fight like Roy, Im not as cool as Jim
But Im taller and blacker than both of them
I think if you read just a few of my blogs
Youd accept my invitation to play a game of pogs
Or Madden, or double dutch, whatever you like
Then youd never forget me, like riding a bike
I saw Blades of Glory and envied Will Farrell's right hand
Tonight you be a woman, and I'll be a man
I'm Doug and youre Patty, Im Stan and your Wendy
I'll move to LA, where we'll both be so Trendy
We could keep it a secret, make it sound like a fable
Like Monica and Bill, keep it under the table
People will say that were crazy the day that we wed
They'll compare you to Britney, and me to K Fed
Accept my MySpace friendship, that would be great
You could be my number 1, not just my top 8
Ill send you flowers like roses and daisies
If you said you wanted me, Id say back "Same-zies"
I know youve got trouble, divorces are hard
So let me take you out on my Chili's gift card
If I make the League, then youll be convinced
Just dont run off with R Jeff or Vince
On September 27th you go back to Pam Beasely
Ill be watching feeling a little bit sleazy
Imagining you and me closing my room do'
Because you already know it's boom tho!
The End.
Ode to Jenna Fischer
But soft, what light breaks through yonder television?
It is the east, and Jenna Fischer is the sun
I don't mean to be silly, sick, crazy or rude
But when I watch The Office, I wanna be your dude
I cant fight like Roy, Im not as cool as Jim
But Im taller and blacker than both of them
I think if you read just a few of my blogs
Youd accept my invitation to play a game of pogs
Or Madden, or double dutch, whatever you like
Then youd never forget me, like riding a bike
I saw Blades of Glory and envied Will Farrell's right hand
Tonight you be a woman, and I'll be a man
I'm Doug and youre Patty, Im Stan and your Wendy
I'll move to LA, where we'll both be so Trendy
We could keep it a secret, make it sound like a fable
Like Monica and Bill, keep it under the table
People will say that were crazy the day that we wed
They'll compare you to Britney, and me to K Fed
Accept my MySpace friendship, that would be great
You could be my number 1, not just my top 8
Ill send you flowers like roses and daisies
If you said you wanted me, Id say back "Same-zies"
I know youve got trouble, divorces are hard
So let me take you out on my Chili's gift card
If I make the League, then youll be convinced
Just dont run off with R Jeff or Vince
On September 27th you go back to Pam Beasely
Ill be watching feeling a little bit sleazy
Imagining you and me closing my room do'
Because you already know it's boom tho!
The End.